What is your story?
Your past no longer exists except in your mind. All you have is now. The past is over, and the future is in your imagination. All you have in this moment are the thoughts you are thinking. If you’re thinking about your past, that isn’t your past. This is a huge distinction. Your past is over. The only way your past exists at all is in your thoughts about it now. Otherwise, it doesn’t affect you in any way.
Your thought right now about your past does affect you. All your thinking affects you deeply in this moment, but what happened to you in your past does not. Your past is over and doesn’t affect you, and then there are your current thoughts about your past, which do affect you.
Your past no longer exists except in your mind. That is a huge concept. When I ask you about your past now, what is it? It’s your story about your past.
If you had amnesia and you had no memory of your past, it would have no influence on you in terms of your current thinking. If I asked you what happened to you when you were a child, you would tell me your story, your version of your past. I could ask your mother or your father, if they’re alive, and they would have a different version. Your past exists in their mind in their way, and your past exists in your mind in your way.
And then there’s what you made it mean about yourself, what you made it mean about your life. Look at your past. How do you want to use it? It’s yours. No one can change it or touch it but you.
You get to decide what you’re going to make your past mean in your life. You decide whether you’re going to be the hero of that story or the victim. You don’t need to go into your past to heal it.
(There are exceptions. If you’ve had physical trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, or anything related, those are out of the realm of what I’m talking about. There is so much good that can be done by therapies that take you back and let you experience that level of healing.)
Sometimes we are chained to a painful story about our past and what it means about our life. That is completely optional. We can change this story.
You could want to believe that your past has made you strong, it has made you capable, and it has made you worthy. Go mining for that evidence. You will find it, and then retell the story in a way that ultimately serves you, that gives you thoughts that build feelings of positivity and strength and wonder and energise you.
You don’t have to take any of it into your brain if you don’t want to. If you find that you’re thinking about it, ask yourself why. That is worth coaching yourself about. You get to decide what you bring into your future, and here’s the best news—you get to leave behind anything you don’t want to bring with you. It’s over. It has no power over you. You can release it forever and move on. If you notice that anything from your past is causing you pain, it’s because of the story that you’re telling about it, and you get to change this story.
You may not be able to change what happened to you, but you get to change what it means to you now. I highly encourage you all to do this practice. Sum up your past in one sentence. How do you want to define it? What do you want to believe? Without changing anything, how will you define it? What do you want your story to be?
Work with me
If you would like help with re-writing your story, book a free ‘Life Consultation’ on my calendar.