Buffering is something we do to avoid fully experiencing our lives. We don’t want to face the truth of our lives because we don’t want to experience negative emotion. We think we are entitled to feel happy all the time because we are constantly bombarded with ways to feel pleasure.
There is value to constraint: to less food, to less drinking, and to less stuff. Yet we’re sold on the idea of more. We feel like we need to eat more, drink more, and have more. Constraint is what being married is all about. We constrain ourselves to one person. This constraint gives us freedom from chatter in our brains. I feel the same way about not drinking at all. It has opened my brain to be able to focus on so many other things that I want to do with my life.
I can remember feeling as though dinner time was the highlight of my day. I can remember self-medicating with food to make me feel better, a quick biscuit or chocolate here and there helped me to feel less stressed. I used to overeat when I went out for meals with friends and family, after a three-course meal I could barely stay awake, let alone appreciate being with friends and family members and engaging in interesting conversation. Now I often don’t eat, I may go out for dinner with my family and just have a starter and not eat when they have their other courses. I’m just present, and I remain conscious. It truly is far more fun and enjoyable.
What is the world like if you don’t ever overeat, overdrink, overspend, overwork, over people please, over Facebook? If you want to live an authentic life, are you willing to live a life without any brain substance manipulation, false pleasures, or pretend emotions?
We take naturally occurring things and we process them so much that they affect our brains in an artificial way. We overwhelm the brain with concentrated grapes as wine, and we get an unregulated burst of dopamine. Our brains aren’t evolved to process so much so quickly. That overstimulation of dopamine makes our brains think we need wine for our survival, and we drink at our own expense. It buffers us from reality. It’s the same with sugar, flour, heroin, and cocaine.
Maybe we’re feeling anxious or frustrated, so we eat, and then we get that hit of pleasure which helps us escape from the negative emotion. Now, does the momentary relief mean we’re happier? Or have we just put ourselves into a space that makes us less aware of our discomfort? That’s what buffering is.
As soon as we recognise that we can be unhappy and be fine, and we are willing to be unhappy, then we will find the thoughts causing it and get some authority over them. If you are willing to feel negative emotions and remove all the buffers in your life, you will remove all the negative consequences that come with those buffers. The pleasure we get from taking care of ourselves increases, but the false pleasure we get from buffering is significantly reduced.
You can trade all the false pleasures in your life for well-being. Give up the false pleasures so you can enjoy the full pleasure of well-being. The full pleasure of well-being does not mean that you don’t experience negative emotion—it just means that you have no problem when it’s there. You can handle it.
Work with me
If you would like to work with me to limit or eliminate buffering in your life, book a free ‘Life Consultation’ on my calendar.